My name is Amy and sometimes I embarrass myself. *Hi, Amy* Welcome to a different but fun post all about keeping things real and having a good laugh. I almost called this post “A Day in the Life of Awkward Amy’ or “I’m an Awkward-Magnet.” I asked my Facebook friends, the other day, “does anyone have completely awkward days, or is it just me” and I received quite a few responses that it’s (thankfully) not just me. As awkward/funny things have happened to me in real life, I have started the habit of writing them down for a good laugh later.
In keeping with trying to be real and transparent on this blog, I’m going to tell you about some true story things that have happened to me and solidified that once I get on a roll, it’s hard to stop other things from happening. I’ve even broken these experiences into categories, lolz. (I’ve gotten into the habit of also saying “lolz” too much).
“This All Happened in One Day” Category
Soo, the other day I left work and had one hour in between having to be at another commitment. I went to a local coffee shop to change out of my work clothes, into some others, and to get some coffee. I carried in my computer bag and my tote bag but I guess I didn’t realize how bulky the load was. As I was walking to the back of the coffee shop, where the restroom was, I suddenly resembled a bulldozer because I ran into about 3 people on either side of me and knocked them around with all that I was carrying. So embarrassing. And I had to walk back the same way after I had changed…
After changing, I went to order my coffee but didn’t realize that my wallet was unzipped already and I had about $6 of loose change in the wallet. Loose change spilled out of the wallet and I tried to pick it up as composed/quickly as possible.
After I recovered, my coffee was ready and I felt like the barista yelled a little too loud “DECAF coffee for Amy.”
“Things that Happen at the Gym” Category
A few months ago I was working out on the elliptical machine and there was an older man on the elliptical next to me. I worked out for a little while and then went to get the spray bottle with the equipment cleaner. As I came back to clean my elliptical machine, this guy kept giving me super weird looks and it started to creep me out. After I finished cleaning the machine, I started to look for my bag, phone, and keys and noticed that they were on another machine next to me….which means that I had cleaned the totally wrong machine and someone noticed.
The other day I was doing a speed run on the treadmill and had my phone resting on the face of the treadmill. As I was finishing up the run, on the highest speed, I accidentally pulled my headphone cord, which then sent my phone darting onto the tread, which then shot my phone across the room, and I tried to avoid having a “Taylor Swift vs Treadmill” moment. And the best part is that every other person in the gym saw it because my treadmill was in front of all the other machines.
“Before Amy Wore Glasses 24/7” Category
One day I was walking through the lobby at work and I thought I saw someone who I knew coming towards me. I didn’t think they saw me so I decided to “psssst” to try to get their attention. The person saw me and kept walking but as they got closer, I realized it was not my friend at all and in fact it was a complete stranger. I tried to do the awkward recover of “oh sorry, I thought you were someone else” but you could tell I had just creeped this person out.
One night on vacation with friends, I walked smack into a glass door because I thought the door was open. I blame that one on jet lag…
“The Umm Could You Not” Category
I can’t tell you the number of times that I have been in the grocery store and have been blocked in the aisle by a couple who decided to make-out in the dairy section or right next to the shampoo…
The other day I needed to get on an elevator at work and as the doors opened, there stood a couple making out and they happened to see me. Well little old me tried to decide super fast, do I get on the elevator or pretend like I need to get on another one and this isn’t bothering me? I panicked and, of course, went with the most awkward option and just got on the elevator and had the most uncomfortable 10 seconds…”hi, how YOU doing?”
Y’all there’s even more but I think I’ve embarrassed myself enough today and there will always be more stories later, I guarantee it. I hope this post has brought you some joy, laughter, and assurance that you’re not the only one who has these days. If you have a funny story, that you would like to share, about similar things happening to you, I would love to hear them!